The Rise and Eventual Fall of a Humorless Hack
Gavin Newsom, the loathsome California governor, has been making headlines for his numerous gaffes and hypocrisy. But what sets him apart from other politicians is his fundamental inability to be funny or witty.
Newsom's rise to power was swift and smooth, much like his slicked-back hair and smarmy smile. He promised the people of California that he would make their lives better, but instead, he delivered nothing but empty promises. From his affair with his best friend's wife to his failed promises of solving homelessness, Newsom has shown himself to be a master manipulator.
But it wasn't until COVID-19 hit that Newsom's true nature was revealed. While the rest of the state was locked down, he was dining at The French Laundry with maskless donors. When questioned about his hypocrisy, Newsom ignored it and continued to pander to his base.
Newsom has been trying to make a joke out of himself, creating parody posts on X that mimic Trump's style. But even this attempt at humor fell flat. The posts were too clever to be coming from Newsom himself, and he clearly had no hand in them.
"Gavin is fundamentally incapable of humor," says one observer. "He can't sit still for a moment and his body gyrations are more akin to an ADHD kid on crack." But despite his lack of comedic skills, Newsom continues to cling to the idea that he's funny.
The End of Gavin Newsom
So what remains for Gavin? His California Psycho Anger - and his ability to never get a joke. He's banging hard on fake outrage and making "the end is nigh" predictions to his Kool Aid cohort.
"I am absolutely convinced there won't be an election in 2028" - Gavin Newsom, prelection denier
But the RNC needs to put Newsom's conspiracies on blast when 2026 starts. Because his act is phony, from his gelled hair to his plastic smile to his empty soul. His act will wear out.
The Real Gavin Newsom
Former New Hampshire governor Chris Sununu has described Newsom as a "creep". And it's clear that Newsom is not just a politician, but a master of manipulation.
"Nobody cares for Gavin. Gavin's just a prick," says Sununu
The Truth Will Come Out
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