“Plane go up, I give cookie, plane go down”: The Brutally Honest Job Descriptions of Professionals

In a world where corporate jargon and buzzwords reign supreme, it's refreshing to hear professionals describe their jobs with brutal honesty. A recent survey of over 20 professionals has shed light on the absurdity of modern job titles, leaving us wondering what exactly these people do.

The Flight Attendant's Take: "Plane go up, I give cookie, plane go down"

One flight attendant summed up their career in a single sentence: "Plane go up, I give cookie, plane go down." This succinct description gives us an immediate understanding of what they do – providing snacks and basic safety information to passengers on board. No need for fancy job titles or lengthy descriptions; this woman gets the point across.

Growth Marketing Managers: The Masters of Manipulative Vagueness

We've created a culture where Growth Marketing Managers market growth while growing marketing, leaving us with a linguistic riddle that's almost impossible to decipher. Their job titles are often laced with corporate speak and delivered with confidence, making it difficult for outsiders to understand what they actually do.

Unpacking the Jargon: A Look at Some Job Titles

We scoured LinkedIn for two minutes and came across some individuals who had us scratching our heads. We found someone who claimed to be "Driving Innovation & Strategy in Defense Industry & Enterprise Sectors" – essentially, they're trying to make a living by helping companies coordinate people and spaces in hybrid working environments.

Another individual proudly announced that they were starting a new chapter as a Culture Manager. While this sounds important, it's hard to grasp what exactly this role entails when the job title is shrouded in ambiguity.

The Power of Brutal Honesty

But then we came across someone who said "I babysit 30 humans while occasionally telling them stuff." Suddenly, the mystery was solved. This description not only clarifies what the person does but also adds a touch of humor and humility.

The Surgeon's Perspective: A Clearer Picture

A surgeon once described their job as "I fix people's insides." No need for elaborate language; this straightforward answer provides an instant understanding of what they do. It's interesting to note that this description is infinitely clearer than any healthcare solutions architect job posting.

The Ecosystem of Job Descriptions

As we navigate the complex web of modern job titles, it's refreshing to see professionals speak their minds and strip away the unnecessary jargon. This honesty cuts through the professional fog like a machete through corporate buzzwords.

A Call for Clarity

While some might argue that job descriptions should be concise and to the point, others believe that they should be more elaborate and highlight the skills and expertise required for the role. Ultimately, what matters is clarity – ensuring that both employees and employers understand exactly what each other does.