When a Man Posted a Compromising Photo of My Daughter Online, I Put My Life on Hold to Get Back at Him. And Oh Boy, Did I

This is part of Revenge Week, a series about how vengeance runs America, from the White House to cheating spouses to that bad boss who totally deserved it. My introduction to revenge porn came when my daughter Kayla's email was hacked. She had taken over 100 pictures in her room, one of them topless. She'd never sent it to anyone, but she had sent it to her computer to save it through her email. Her topless picture ended up on one of the most notorious revenge porn websites, IsAnyoneUp.com. She was 24 at the time.

She found out at work—one of her friends called her and told her, and she was distraught and freaked out and crying. She called me and said, “Something horrible happened, Mom,” which is something you never want to hear as a mother, because you think it's a car accident. I didn't expect revenge porn, because I'd never heard of it. But I knew enough about the internet to know that a topless picture is going to multiply and not just disappear, so I knew the photo had to come down immediately.

I was pretty consumed with it from that first day. And I knew my daughter wasn't going to be able to do this on her own. She was so distraught. When she came home from work that day, she just locked herself in a room. She was basically in the fetal position, emotionally battered. She felt violated and humiliated.

Hunter Moore, who ran the website, was a professional life-ruiner, as he called himself, and reveled in hate. He was all about trying to get victims to commit suicide, or to ruin their lives, to get them fired, to alert their families to the pictures. He was the moral equivalent of a bedbug. I sent notices to him asking for the photo to be removed in accordance with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, a 1998 law that established procedures for copyright owners to demand infringers take down their content, and he would not remove it.

I was very angry. So I contacted, I think, nine attorneys. This was 2012—no one knew anything about this issue, because it was a whole new thing. The attorneys were kind of throwing up their hands. We went to the police department, and the female, middle-aged detective in the cybercrimes department said to Kayla, “Why would you take a picture like this if you didn't want it on the internet?” They said they'd look into the hacking but nothing else.

When I called the FBI, they said, “Just file a report online.” I knew they were too busy with other cases and wouldn’t do anything. And so I said to the person on the phone, “Don't you understand? This is serious! My daughter's private pictures are being shared without her consent!” They just brushed it off.

But then I realized that I needed to take matters into my own hands. So I started calling other victims and sharing their stories. I talked to attorneys, law enforcement officials, and experts in the field. We formed a coalition of people who were determined to bring down Hunter Moore and his empire of revenge porn.

The FBI Investigation

After months of tireless work, we finally got the attention of the FBI. They agreed to investigate Hunter Moore's case, and I was able to provide them with a 12-inch file with dozens of hack victims from all over the country. We worked closely with the agents, providing them with evidence and testimony from the victims.

It wasn't easy, but we eventually got Hunter Moore arrested and charged with multiple counts of revenge porn. He was sentenced to two and a half years in prison, which was a far cry from the 42 years he originally faced.

The Aftermath

But even though Hunter Moore is behind bars, his legacy lives on. Many other websites and individuals have followed in his footsteps, perpetuating the cycle of revenge porn. It's a never-ending battle, but we're not giving up.

In the years since my daughter Kayla was victimized, we've seen a sea change in public opinion. The media is now largely supportive of victims, and law enforcement is taking cybercrimes more seriously. We've also seen legislation passed at the state and federal levels to address revenge porn.

A New Era

Today, there are laws prohibiting revenge porn in all 50 states, plus many additional states that have added A.I. or deepfakes into their laws. And this year, federal legislators almost unanimously supported a federal law with stricter penalties for revenge porn. It's a victory, but we're not resting on our laurels.

We know that there will always be new threats and new victims. But we also know that we have the power to make a difference. We can spread awareness, support victims, and demand change. And that's what we'll keep doing.