**Mad Vlad's Got Exploding Dildos For Trump's Peace Plan**

As the holiday season approaches, it seems that instead of joy and cheer, we're getting a whole lot of forever war. That's because Russia has been engaging in some very aggressive hybrid warfare tactics, and it looks like they're not done yet.

**Russia's Hybrid Warfare Escalates**

From derailing trains in Poland to burning down shopping centers in Germany, the list of Russian plots foiled by Western authorities is long and concerning. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Russia has also been accused of:

* Burning down a German arms factory * Embedding sleeper agents in Europe * Severing undersea cables to Finland * Bombing or disabling GPS systems for civil jets * Attempting to poison Finnish water supplies

And if that's not enough, Russian hackers have targeted American water systems, food processing facilities, and government networks too. In some cases, they even directed the planting of bombs on planes headed to the US.

**A Pattern of Aggression**

Between March 2022 and June 2025, Russian hackers launched over 1,500 attacks on government agencies, financial institutions, railways, and ports in Ukraine and NATO countries. They've also been using trollbots on social media to sow chaos and push Russia's narrative wherever eyeballs may gather.

But that's not all - Russian spies have been spotted surveying bridges and mapping railways in Europe, which can only mean one thing: they're planning something big.

**A Plot to Bomb Military Bases Foiled**

In April, European and British authorities uncovered a plot to bomb or set fire to military bases in Germany. They also attempted to hack and disrupt Europe's railway signal network and jam the GPS systems for civil aviation - including the plane of European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen.

**Exploding Dildos on US-Bound Planes**

In July 2024, a Russian spy and accomplices planted exploding electric sex toys on cargo and passenger aircraft flying to the US and Canada. These devices ignited in Leipzig, Germany, and Birmingham, England, putting thousands of lives at risk.

But here's the thing: Russia denied any involvement in this plot.

**A Bomb on the Warsaw-Lublin Railway**

Just last month, a bomb was placed on the tracks of the crowded Polish Warsaw-Lublin railway line. Thankfully, the operator managed an emergency stop, preventing mass casualties.

**Russian Drone Incursions**

Poland, Ireland, France, Finland, and Belgium have all reported suspected Russian drone incursions around airports and military facilities. And recently, suspicious drones were spotted hovering in wait for Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy's plane in Dublin Bay.

**Putin's Endgame**

So what does Putin want? He wants to reunite the former Soviet republics under his control - and maybe even more. As long as Zelenskyy is in power, there will never be a ceasefire in Ukraine. And even if he signed the Jared Kushner/Steve Witkoff plan for surrender (which he clearly doesn't intend to do), the fight would still not be over.

**The US's Role in All This**

But here's the thing: Trump has put down the Tomahawks, as his actions and Russia-coddling National Security manifesto make clear. He even wants Zelenskyy to respond to the "peace proposal" by Christmas - which is just a bunch of hot air.

And Defense Department officials have already said that while the US is still shipping weapons to Ukraine now, starting in 2027 it will no longer be NATO's primary conventional defense provider. It's been embarrassingly obvious that Trump has no pull to convince Putin to sit down with Zelenskyy and make a ceasefire deal.

**A Question of Leverage**

So why does the US think it can dictate any plan to Ukraine or Europe? If you're going to get out, then get out and let NATO handle its business. But Trump is also a man who likes to keep all his options open - especially if they might involve some company greasy son Don Junior has invested in getting to extract Ukraine's rare earth minerals.

**A Warning from the Experts**

Putin will not stop his incursions into the West until somebody nukes Moscow into the stone age. Which means said somebody also possibly gets themselves nuked into the stone age too. Not happening.

So here we are, and now instead of Cold War, we have microwaved chai with sneaky hot spots, and a few grains of poison. But so much for Russia just being Europe's problem! It is until it isn't, and Putin thinks Trump isn't trying hard enough and starts going after American planes and water supplies to send a message.

Squealing VLADIMIR STOP! sure isn’t cutting it!