Singles Beware — 'Floodlighting' is the Newest Threat in Dating Disasters

For singles looking for love, the latest dating disaster has emerged: "floodlighting." This messy mating movement involves sharing intimate details, childhood trauma, and relationship drama on a first date. While some may view it as an open and vulnerable approach, dating pros warn that it's actually a toxic tactic used by deceptive daters to gain empathy and establish a false sense of trust.

"Floodlighting is the opposite of vulnerability," explains Becca Tobin, podcaster and expert on emotional manipulation. "When they overshare right upfront, they're flashing these lights into your face." This term was coined by Brenè Brown, author and researcher who has studied the power dynamics of relationships.

So, what exactly is floodlighting? It's a strategy used by some individuals to reel in potential partners by divulging their personal information too quickly. According to Jessica Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Synced, it involves sharing a lot of intimate details all at once, often to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can "handle" these parts of you.

But be cautious: signs that you might be getting snowed by a flood-lighter include:

• Quick and detailed disclosure of one's intimate info
• An unbalanced exchange of sob stories
• A fast and intense emotional connection
• An intense analysis of your reactions to the horrors they've shared

"While vulnerability is essential in building a strong relationship, there's a time and place for different levels," warns Alderson. "By sharing too much too quickly, you may be putting yourself at risk of being exploited or taken advantage of by someone who may not have your best interests at heart."

Floodlighting is just one of the many hoaxes and hacks plaguing the dating world in recent months. It joins romance scams like "hoodfishing," lying about your hometown for street-credibility, and "throning," strictly dating folks who can boost your social status.

"If someone is floodlighting, it can lead to the person on the receiving end feeling overwhelmed and even suffocated," warns Alderson. "It can be emotionally taxing to handle such intense disclosures and feelings in a short amount of time."

As singles navigate the dating world, it's essential to recognize the signs of floodlighting and protect yourself from potential manipulation. By being aware of this tactic and taking steps to safeguard your emotional well-being, you can avoid falling prey to its toxic effects.